It’s over: Cats win internet

Grumpy Cat. Lil Bub. Maru. Henri. Colonel Meow. They are the champions, my friends. At 25, the internet has a clear winner, and the clear winner is cats.

When Tim Berners-Lee, an inventor of the internet, was recently asked about his invention, he said: “I never expected all these cats.”

Cats’ major competitors, dogs, never really had a chance. Cats are cool without even trying. They can just look grumpy and win the eyeballs of endless interneters. Google Colonel Meow. Can’t look away? Want to print it and post it on your bulletin board? See?

Dogs are our doofus, slobbering, bumbling buddies who just try too hard to impress. They are the guys in the bar who walk up to you and ask: “May I have my breath back please?” OK, maybe if a capuchin monkey rides a dog cowboy-style really fast in a rodeo ring, that’s a bit entertaining for about a minute. But what I’m talking about here is a war, not a battle.

An article in The Guardian speculates on how cats won the internet, saying: “Another theory as to cats’ widespread appeal is their residual similarities to human babies. Each tends to have big eyes, a small nose and a dome-shaped head. According to Michael Newall from the University of Kent, these attributes trigger dormant nurturing instincts in the human breast, whether predisposed toward liking babies or not. As these features are superficially exaggerated in a cat ( as in a cartoon drawing), they may even super-stimulate these responses.”

Other theories put forward in the article are that cat owners tended more toward geek-dom than dog owners, hence are more computer savvy, and we humans have a long history of cat worship that dates back to ancient Egypt.

Whatever. Did you guys see the pictures of Lil Bub using an invisible toothbrush? OMG! LOL!

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